Big Fluffy Buns

The world renowned baker Nigel Fuzzelbottom is cooking up a storm.  People travel from miles around to smell the heavenly aroma of his quaint bakery and take a gander at his big, fluffy buns, raised to perfection!  The heavily guarded recipe was recently revealed in a shocking Furflix exposé.  Viewers learned the startling secret ingredient...

*spoiler alert*

(((now would be a good time to send small children out of the room)))

... it's fresh raisins and NOT the California kind.  

Where to Next?

There's no time to be bored in a world as big and beautiful as this.  Bernie is off on another adventure, destined to wander where the wifi is weak... I'm talking 1 bar.  He will have no time in his busy schedule to check email or post to Instagram.  Nope, he will be learning the local customs and brushing up on useful phrases such as, "Is it time for 2nd brunch?"  Passport in paw, he is a travel addict on the road to recovery. 

Santa Baby

Ever wonder why Santa Claus wears a black belt?  Spoiler alert... it isn't because he's a karate master. 

As you can see, Mr. Claus has a small issue with his festive trousers.  Here's hoping he finds the missing belt before Christmas Eve!  #YuletideBumCrack #KringleMuffintop 
 

You asked for it...

Here is a sneak preview of the 2017 Limited Edition Wall Calendar, Mouse Guinea Pig Pad, 2017 Desk Calendar, and "Start the Morning off right" Mug.  Which is your favorite?

Hot Stuff

Requests keep coming to create a guinea pig calendar, I realized one thing... the project would need major "smolder". What better way to turn up the heat than with a hunky firefighter!? Did someone call 911?

Leonardo da Veggie

Biography of Leonardo da Veggie

-Artist, Mathematician, Inventor, Writer, Lover of fine Salads

As a leading artist and intellectual of the Italian Renaissance, his enduring works "The Last Supper... until Snacktime" and "Mona Lettuce" have influenced countless artists. 

(Pictured above is a close up of Leonardo's famous painting, "Mona Lettuce" currently held in the special D'art de Rongeur Collection at the Louvre in Paris.)

He studied the laws of science and nature, which greatly informed his work as a painter, sculptor, architect, inventor, military engineer and draftsman. His inventions include useful items like the catapult for launching tossed salad over high walls and the hamster wheel for keeping a trim physique. 

It's a bird, It's a plane, It's Superguinea?

Faster than a speeding snail,
More powerful than a robo hamster
Able to leap large veggie trays in a single bound...
An amazing cavy from the planet Krypton!
The Piggy of Steel, ...
SUPERGUINEA!!!

 

Coming not so soon to a theatre near you!

Need a Handyman?

Clogged drain from the kid flushing another hot wheels monster truck down the toilet??? 

Put down the pipe wrench, step away from the "Do it Yourself" YouTube video, and fret no more!

Just call Piggy Plumbing Repair. 

"The super handy guinea pig with the skills to get you out of a pickle, or your pickle out of a pipe" ®

***Licensed, Bonded, and Insured to get a laugh***

#ButtCrackCavy #FurryMr.Fix-it #RodentRepair

Beach Babe

Sun, surf, and sand! 

Enjoying a much needed vacation, Roxie is soaking up rays while sporting stylish sunglasses.  One has to admit, a guinea pig's life is pretty tough...  being pampered daily, fresh veggie treats, and constant human adoration.  Sometimes a piggy just needs a break from the daily grind.  Good thing Ricardo Flamingo is there to help apply sunscreen and freshen up her lemonade.
 

Roxie's theme song is Carrot "Cake by the Ocean" by DNCE

Guinea Pigs Playing Poker

Homage to the famous oil painter C. M. Coolidge.  Miniature details recreate the scene, from the color of the poker chips down to the Ace of Clubs being passed under the table.  It just goes to show that you can teach an old guinea pig new tricks.

Some friends showed up to the party who are known for having the worst poker faces ever...

Gone Tubing

Last Summer, I discovered my life's passion...  Tubing. 

Floating down the river without a care in the world.  Fish nibbling at my toes.  Soaking up the sun while slathered in SPF 110 sunscreen.  The adrenaline rush of spotting a snake stick in the water.  Imagine the exhilaration of riding the rapids while friends try to pelt each other with wet jumbo marshmallows.  One hasn't lived life until they have felt the soft mush of a river-soaked mallow bean them upside the head.  I'm currently in the process of finding sponsors to financially back my professional tubing career.... kind of like Nascar, but with sponsorship stickers on my tube, sunhat, sunglasses, and swimsuit.  Wish me luck!

 Mint anyone?

Fresh Squeeeee-zed

Meet Carmen... not to be confused with the famous Brazilian singer, Broadway actress from the 20's & 30's. Nope, this Carmen doesn't need a stage to preform. She has a flare for belting out high pitch weeps on cue, just open the crisper drawer... on key or off, whatever gets her a treat!

Seed Spitting Contest

It is heating up and a slice of cold watermelon sounds mighty tasty right about now.  The first place winner of the seed spitting contest at the county fair goes to Ruggles with a distance of 2ft 3in.  It takes quite a pucker to generate such distance for a guinea pig.  Enjoy!

Speckle

Clowning Around

Pick a card, any card! 

*honk, honk*

For the 12% of people who suffer from coulrophobia, I apologize for this terrifying post. 

If that is the case, get up from your office cubical,

walk calmly to the restroom,

and splash some water on your face.

Unless you suffer from aquaphobic...  

 In that case, go ahead and have a good cry while rocking back and forth in your office chair. 

Try not to focus on the fact that your face is now covered with tears made from water...

for heaven's sake that will not help you calm down!

  Push that thought down where you usually keep your fear of clowns...

you know the dark place deep in your soul...

yeah, there. 
Maybe watch some funny cat videos on Youtube, unless your company has the site blocked for productivity reasons.  Act like the tears are from heavy laughter. 

If you suffer from ailurophobia, you're pretty much hosed. 

Again, I apologize.

On the bright side, he has plenty of extra handkerchiefs.

Kiss me, I'm Irish!

 
Guinea P. O'Malley is a lucky leprechaun piggy who on occasion enjoys a stout alfalfa ale. 

May your St. Patrick's Day be filled with kisses.  And always remember, if you're enough lucky to be Irish, you're lucky enough!

Happy Valentine's Day

Petunia wants to know...

Will you be her Valentine?

1/2 Pint Mouse

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