Out of My Gourd - The Perfect Pout

Pouty McPlumperson's bottom lip is on display 24-7.  He adamantly refuses to wear dentures.  Instead, the stubborn pumpkin enjoys gumming saltwater taffy while sharing old-timey stories of growing up in the Ozarks, listening to dueling banjos and reminiscing of days long past when he still had a full set of chompers.  

The ornery coot is available through the pumpkin relocation program (dentures included).  Full disclosure, that is not the trill wind you hear blowing through the trees... he speaks with a pronounced whistle.  Also note, due to a narrowed airway, Pouty requires a CPAP machine for sleeping.  If considering adoption, please be prepared for a shrill *whistle---hum---whistle---hum* to gently lull you to sleep at night.  Some say the sound is more soothing than nails down a chalkboard or the yowl of a cat in heat. 

Out of My Gourd - Ankle Biters

The smell of decay hangs heavy in the musty Autumn air.  Every pumpkin farmer's worst nightmare has become reality.  A hard freeze followed by unseasonably warm weather means only one thing... zombie pumpkins!  The compost pile begins to team with rotten carcasses.  A disgusting, rancid aroma invites vermin and flies to congregate.  This is the dark side of pumpkin patches, kept well hidden from the corn maze and apple cider scene.  Can you imagine the public panic if word got out?  Sales of pumpkin scented candles would tank.  #Pumpkinspice would no longer fill shoppers with warm nostalgia, but now become the new apocalyptic warning hashtag.  Forget harvest hay rides and pie eating contests...  NO way, NO how!  Ok, maybe pie, but only if I had a spotter to keep an eye out for zombiekins.  I would also prefer a spotter who ran slower than me.  Taking applications now.

Out of My Gourd - Homely Hubbard

The hubbard squash has an extremely hard outer shell and can be stored for long periods of time.  This misfit of the pumpkin patch may have a tough shell, but hides a sweet, delicious flesh that is great for baking, boiling, roasting, and purees.  The squash can grow up to 50 pounds!  Originally named in the 1840's when Elizabeth Hubbard gave seeds to a friend in a kind, neighborly gesture...  looking back, who in their right mind would gift such homely squash seeds to a friend?  I call shenanigans!

Out of My Gourd - Warted Bottle Neck

Meet grumbling Gourdon, the newest addition to the Out of My Gourd Series.  As you can see, he is covered in warts.  Sadly there is not a "softer side" to this old coot... his grouchy attitude perfectly matches the tough, weathered gourd façade.  Constantly shouting random phrases and insults at passersby, the patient farmer was finally forced to relocate Gourdon to the hay barn aka solitary confinement.  Curious about the insults???  The gruff critiques usually focus on visitors' lack of warts and not enough bump in the trunk.

Out of My Gourd - Cyclops

Expanding the Out of My Gourd Series. 

Meet Cyclops, the monstrous creation of a lazy pumpkin carver unable to muster enough effort for 2 eye holes.  The lack of depth perception is a major issue.  The constant bumping into things and rolling into the irrigation ditch has earned him a clumsy reputation around the pumpkin patch. 

Color Guides

Finishing up detailed color guides for the upcoming workshop.  The abundance of information can be a little overwhelming, so I like to have cheat sheets for students to refer to later.  It only takes a moment of distraction to miss something important. 

Expanding the Series

The "Out of My Gourd" Collection is slowly expanding.  "Slowly" is the key word since each pumpkin takes up to 3 hours of torch time to lovingly sculpt.  Who knew it requires so much effort to look so hideously silly?

Happy Fall Y'all

Yep, it's time to unpack the Autumn decorations. Where are you in the "Fall Sprawl" process? I'm in the procrastination stage... maybe more time at the torch turning out pumpkins and guzzling hot chocolate will help?

Best in Show

The Judges' scores are in... drumroll please! Best in Show goes to Pumpkin Spice! The scoring categories of "Only a Mother could Love this Face" and "Needs to see a Dentist" sent his point tally over the top.  Congrats!

Frick and Frack

The comedic duo enjoys traveling from town to town and preforming silly skits at county fairs.  One could probably look at the pair and correctly venture a guess on who is the "brains" behind the show verses the comedic brawn.  In addition to booking their appearances, Frick keeps his prankster partner in check.  If Frack had his way, their vagabond earnings would be squandered on sarsaparilla, cotton candy, and lotto tickets.  I would estimate at least 30% of their income is spent on glass eyeball replacements. Always rolling away during the show's intermission! Frick is a total saint to stick by him, but that is what brothers do.  You know what they say, "Pumpkin puree is thicker than water."

Double, Double, Toil & Trouble

Meet Gladys the Grey.  She is 90% Witch, 10% Essential Oiler with a PhD in Herbology.  She prefers brewing vegan friendly potions from organic ingredients such as ear of corn, head of cauliflower, and eye of potato.  Her motto is do no harm, except for when someone takes her parking spot.  In instances like these, she has been known to unleash the flying monkeys and rattle off a curse or two.

Cabochon Collection

What about a Cabochon of the Month Club?  Just one question, who would be Miss June?

Blitz the Guinea Pig

Early this morning, Blitz decide to slip on the pumpkin suit and head to the garden.  The disguise didn't work... for heaven sake, pumpkins don't have ears!  As for now, the lettuce and carrots are safe.  Maybe next time he should go with the camouflage? 

 

Ghastling with Purple Bow

Naughty Ghastlings

Totally aware that it is the end of July, but in the mood for more spooky-silliness.  Enjoy!

Check your Boo-bies 2014

An oldie, but a goodie.  Check your Boo-bies 2014 is a throw back design from years ago.  Love the little ghost holding a pumpkin.  The pumpkin's vine is a hidden hope ribbon design.  A friendly reminder that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.